And you call this foreplay?!?!

Want to take most of the spontaneity and joy and mystery out of sex?

There’s an app for that.

We can all thank Wendy Mandell-Geller, a mother of three from Mooresville, N.C. Her brainchild is called Yes to Sex, and she designed the mobile app as a humble way to try to stem the tide of sexual assaults, especially on high-school and college campuses, using software as a sort of TSA security line a couple must pass through to get it on.

Picture this: Romantic music plays in the background, the lights are low, mom and dad are gone, and pretty soon so are key pieces of clothing. But then, we whip out our phones, fire up Yes to Sex, click a few things, and it’s off to the races, with the app essentially serving as a digital witness of our mutual consent, just in case there was any misunderstanding.

The app, which joins others like Good2Go on the market, presumes to remove much of the tension and ambiguity that often comes with the sexual act. The app does not, however, presume to add the slightest amount of titillation or excitement to the entire process. But kudos to its creator for trying.

 “As a mother, I was horrified to learn that every month in the U.S. over 1.7 million sexually transmitted infections are passed on and 25% of female students and 6 to 8% of male students are sexually assaulted each year on campuses,”  Mandell-Geller said in a statement. “I want to empower teens and young adults to initiate conversations with their partners about consent and the use of protection in a modern, approachable manner.”

Available in both iOS and Android, the mood-killer, er, mutual-consent-clarifier requires about 25 seconds for the users to quickly (though not quickly enough, to be sure) move through the required steps, which include recording a short audio confirmation in which the participants sign on to intercourse.

(OMG. Did I just write “sign on to intercourse”????)

According to USA Today, the app does not retain any of the information entered during this pre-sex exercise once the user closes out. However, “the date, time, place and voice recordings are stored on Yes to Sex’s secure servers, which according to a company press release use “the same data encryption as the Department of Defense (and) the records can only be retrieved with court-endorsed orders, ensuring anonymity,” the release states.

In other words, that dude who helped the FBI hack into that iPhone that Apple refused to open could theoretically figure out what you’ve been up to and whom you’ve been up to it with.

Above: Screen grab from Yes to Sex


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