Cisco Mejia may be one of the few people who can truly say he’s living his dream.
Mejia, an out, proud San Francisco 49ers superfan, has loved the team since he was 6 years old, and he’s thrilled to represent 49ers Pride, the team’s LGBTQ fan community. The 49ers made NFL history in 2019 when they became the first team in the league to officially launch an LGBTQ fan club.
“I’m living my dream,” he says, standing outside Splash, the iconic gay bar in downtown San Jose that he manages and that often hosts 49ers watch parties. A DJ, too, the 40-year-old uses his gleaming new Ford pickup — painted a bright 49ers red, of course — to haul music equipment for 49ers parties and events.
Some of his gay friends don’t understand his love for a sport associated with an aggressively masculine ideal. And Meija recognizes that NFL culture has famously silenced players who were anything but heterosexual. It wasn’t that long ago that players felt free to openly express hostility to having gay teammates.
But he believes that the culture of professional football is changing for the better, led — not surprisingly — by the 49ers and the LGBTQ-friendly Bay Area. Now Mejia, who lives in Vallejo’s Glen Cove with his husband, two cats and a tarantula, explains what this culture shift means for the LGBTQ fans who love the sport.
Q Have you always been a football fan?
A I grew up in San Jose, and football just became a thing when I was 6 or 7 years old. My grandmother made me a 49ers blanket that I still have and still use today. My family went to games at Candlestick Park. I had a little gold chain when I was 9 years old. It was the coolest thing in the world.
Q Did you do sports as a teen?
A At Del Mar High School in the late 1990s, I wasn’t really out. I played football, hockey and baseball, but not for school. I just knew I was a little different. My high school football coach tried to recruit me. He saw me play and knew I loved the sport, but I still wasn’t comfortable. I was really shy, and there were a lot of bullies.
Q How did you become a DJ?
A Back when MTV was around, I thought, I want to be a DJ. In 2004, there was (a now-closed) club in Santa Clara called Tinker’s Damn. I went to meet the DJ in the booth, and she’s this 60-year-old lady rocking out. I asked if she’d be willing to train me. I guess I had this sad puppy face, so she took me on.
Q Is that around the time you came out?
A I came out when I was a manager at the former Century 21 theater in San Jose. That was back in the day, when people would camp out before the latest “Star Wars” or “Jurassic Park” movie. I was more outed than anything else. Most everyone accepted it (but) I lost some friends. My dad wasn’t very accepting of it, and we stopped talking.
Fast forward to last year — he got cancer. I ended up contacting him. We talked and everything. Today, he’s cancer free. We have a great relationship.
Q Did you and dad bond over football?
A My dad was always a workaholic, so it was more my mom and my grandmother, and my brother actually played football.
Q What is it about the game that you like?
A Everything. Just the nonstop excitement. You have the physical contact, the interceptions. Everybody getting out of their seats and yelling “Touchdown!” People refer to football as operating like military strategy. You’re, like, going into battle with each other. With football, it also doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight or any gender, religion or sex. You’re all bonded together and really getting into it. That’s the thing I love about football.
Q Do you have gay friends who wonder how you can like such a brutal sport?
A Definitely. I get customers in Splash who ask why — but they’re also getting into stereotyping. On the other side, when the 49ers announced they were doing 49ers Pride, you knew there were people who wouldn’t like the idea — but it was more positive than negative.
Q When former Las Vegas Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib became the first active NFL player to publicly come out as gay, it was amazing to see his team, the NFL and other major players tweeting out statements about how proud they were of him …
A It was a big moment. You have an active player in the NFL who is out and feels he can be himself. Then you have the 49ers representing the pride part. If that was happening when I was in high school, I probably would have come out sooner.
Q What does having a 49ers LGBTQ community mean to fans personally?
A Not everyone’s out. But if they’re football fans and going to games and wearing Pride attire, it’s much more easy and comfortable for them to come out. Just today, I got an invitation to a 49ers Pride Day at training camp. That was a nice thing to see on my phone.
Q Have you met any players?
A I’ve met (tight end) George Kittle. He’s my No. 1 favorite. He’s exactly how he is on the TV and on the field. He’s quite a character. I also met (quarterback) Nick Mullens, who’s no longer with the team. When he first started with the 49ers, he played against the Raiders. I thought, this guy’s great. He’s going to do great things.
Q Kittle also taped the video on the 49ers website announcing 49ers Pride, saying, “We want to celebrate the passion of all the Faithful. If your team is red and gold, you belong in the 49ers family.”
A That was super awesome. You have someone who is this huge, manly, masculine figure talking about Pride. That feels very welcoming for myself and the fans as well.
Q With the 49ers leading on inclusivity for LGBTQ fans, what else should the NFL be doing on this issue?
A I like how the NFL is becoming more open, especially with Carl Nassib and the Raiders. I just wish other teams were doing what the 49ers are doing.
