My son, Jacob, is 5 years old, and like most kids his age, he has a way of getting straight to the point. He says he “loves” his mother but only “likes” me.
Some parents might find that comment disconcerting. But I don’t. I know what he really means. Mom is the one to go to when he wants to be comforted, and Dad is the one for fun.
Considering the relative abundance of time I spend with Jacob, you’d think I’d expect a little more “love.”
Then again, I’m not your typical father. My wife and I are among the lucky parents who have worked out family-friendly work schedules. I get to spend more time with my child than most fathers.
This means I’m the lone dad you see taking his kid to dance practice, swim school, gymnastics and playing the role of “cooking dad” at his preschool, where parent participation is encouraged.
So it is actually because I spend so much time with my son that I can understand what he really means when he says he just “likes” me.
I am the one for fun, and it has been a thrill for me to witness, observe and photograph Jacob during his preschool years – exploring, growing, learning how to socialize, asking why and how, and becoming more independent.
As a photojournalist, I explore with my camera and sometimes think I use the medium to search for meaning in my life. Through that, I’ve come to realize that a meaningful life is about experiencing meaningful relationships.
Being a father has given me an opportunity to live that more meaningful life. Spending time with my son during his early years has built a foundation for a meaningful relationship now and in the years to come.
I am truly grateful for the experience. But you may want to check back with me when Jacob is a teenager. That will be when the real “fun” begins.
Mercury News staff photojournalist Jim Gensheimer and his wife, JoAnn Lambkin, are parents of 5-year-old Jacob Gensheimer. Contact Jim Gensheimer at jgensheimer@mercurynews.com.