A New Hope: Making a To-Do List for Disney and LucasFilm

It will take some time for the shock to wear off. But yes, it’s true: Disney is buying LucasFilm for $4 billion in cash and stock.

I held my breath, at first, thinking surely this was one of those social media rumors run amok. Then, came the knee-jerk reaction: Disney! It’s like Lucas sold his franchise to the Death Star.

But then you realize, wait, wait, Lucas is a terrible filmmaker. Getting him out of the way could be single best thing to happen to LucasFilm (other than the obvious awkwardness of his name being in the name).

As part of the announcement, Disney said they had plans to make three more Star Wars movies, starting with Episode 7 in 2015. No word on the plot details.

But after digesting this blockbuster, I have a few thoughts on where Disney should start:

1. Re-make Episodes 1-3. Seriously. They were all terrible, though they got slightly less terrible as they went on. The tragedy is that there is great fodder for truly outstanding, but dark movies to be made here. Get someone to re-write and re-boot them.

2. If Disney won’t re-make them, at least digitally erase Jar-Jar Binks from every frame. Please.

3. Speaking of re-boots, what’s the status of Howard the Duck? The movie that scarred a generation. There’s nowhere to go but up if they’re willing to take another shot at it. Oddly, it doesn’t get very prominent mention on the LucasFilm website. I can’t imagine why.

4. Build a Star Wars theme park. It’s only a matter of time. So get started. Crowdsource ideas. Can you imagine the bidding frenzy among communities to get this bad boy? Pod racers, landspeeder races, Jedi training. It’s a bottomless source of rides and attractions.

5. Get started on the next Indiana Jones movie before Harrison Ford turns 100. Time is running out.

What are you hoping Disney will do now that it has its hands on LucasFilm?